Jack Pattillo

Jack Pattillo is an independent filmmaker, lumberjack, actor, and Fleshlight™ connoisseur. He works for Achievement Hunter, a sub-company of Rooster Teeth Productions. Jack helped produce the original Achievement Hunter videos, aimed at helping everyday gamers earn achievements on the Xbox 360 video game system. Jack also frequently records with the Drunk Tank crew and co-hosts the Achievement Hunter Weekly Update or AHWU, as it is often referred to. Along with Achievement Hunter, Jack occasionally appears on Red Vs. Blue. In Red Vs. Blue Season Nine, Jack voice acted as Murphy, who is a minor supporting character. He is most known for his epic lumberjack beard and Fleshlight™ obsession. Jack has been a connoisseur for Fleshlight™ ever since Godzilla attacked Saskatoon, Saskatchewan in the 1278 film, "YOLO: Reloaded with a Vengeance of the Two Towers". Both his beard and Fleshlight™ are frequently left out in the sun in order to achieve the perfect texture: light and frothy. Although not fully confirmed yet, Jack had an in the uprise in Fleshlight™ usage across the galaxy. Acting as the spokesperson of Fleshlight: Earth ™, Jack singlehandedly delivered millions upon billions of Fleshlight ™ products to the vast colonies of the galaxy. While visiting the tropical planet Bizz-Lightyear, the Bizz-Lightyearians became infatuated with his beard, which by that time had grown to an astounding 92 feet long. Wanting to immerse themselves in his facial hair, the Bizz-Lightyearians attacked Jack and attempted to take the beard for themselves. Jack narrowly escaped, but the Bizz-Lightyearians managed to trim the beard down to a much smaller, and much less repectable length of 3 inches. Fearing for his life, Jack fled back to Earth, all the way down to a small office in Austin, Texas where he was reunited with the Rooster Teeth gang. Today, it is rumored that Jack still uses his Fleshlight ™ on an hourly basis, whether at home, driving, in the office, or at the bar. Whether or not these rumors are true, which they most likely are, only the true believers will be chosen during the Pattillo-rapture, foretold to occur on the 31st of February, 2012 ½, to ascend to Jack-heaven, where the Fleshlight ™  is the primary food source, and beards are free to roam the meadows and swim in the streams. We must believe.